I was skeptical at first, but when I found out that the four tentacles growing out of my armpits were probably caused by 5G radiation, I broke down and grabbed one of them. Boy was I surprised at how well it worked! Four tentacles withdrew within three days. As a bonus, my neighbors can no longer hack into my router because the signal doesn't pass through the router's screen. It works so well. Good thing I still have a few manual typewriters, otherwise I'd be screwed.
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