Determined to grow a massive homeless beard since November. It's been 5 months and I need something to keep my mustache out of my mouth when I eat. Enter mustache wax! I put a little on in the morning before I go to work and it lasts all day. The smell is very pleasant. My dream of looking like I belong in a whiskey bottle is about to become a reality. Pros: Women I don't know come up to me to tell me how much they love beards. Maybe he wants to have sex with me. Disadvantages: The girlfriend is not satisfied with the above. People who don't know me see the mustache on the steering wheel and think I'm a dirty hipster and not the BEARDED VIKING GOD. Then they notice I'm not wearing women's jeans and realize this, usually apologize and then ask for forgiveness/pardon/blessing.
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