Review on Tzumi Bluetooth Waterproof Outdoor Speaker by Jeremy Keller

I bought one of these from Home Depot (I know I should have expected it) and this thing is just awful. There's one good thing. It's got pretty good volume for its size, and it has an extra port, although Tech ARBITRARY removed it for no reason. I'm looking at you Samsung. Remove features and call it an improvement. It's like having your nails removed and calling it a manicure. Now for the bad. It's LOVELY. I think annoying is putting it mildly. To conserve battery life, this thing turns itself off after less than 5 minutes of no audio input, whether it's plugged in or not. That wouldn't be such a problem if it didn't make the most piercing, frightening noise when it was turned on. Note that there is no way to adjust this volume. You just have to live with that. What sadist thought that was a good idea? Seriously, this power-on hearing loss will wake up your neighbors and start a nuclear war with the neighboring country. Speaking of noise, the shutdown noise during said timeout is very annoying. Audio controls are also inconsistent, with your Bluetooth volume acting as the primary control, while the extra volume at max volume seems limited to whatever Bluetooth volume you last had. On top of that, it makes that unbearable buzz when charging when it's almost fully charged. Are you leaving it on overnight because your TV sound is bad? Get ready to wake up early in the morning. Do you want to make a phone call with this thing? Big chance. It can easily play a song or a YouTube video, but if you call and turn the volume up to the max, you won't hear anything. It's even worse in the car. How is that even possible for a speaker that can play a pretty good volume with literally everything else? Battery life is terrible if you don't use an aux. Tzumi's website claims 6 hours but if you have half or more of the volume it's closer to 5. It's not that big of a deal but the metric should be accurate or better explained. It's also advertised as waterproof but I wouldn't trust that more than I could throw a 900kg steel plate in. Regarding the inaccuracy of the website, it says that it can play audio from a microSD card or flash card. What planet is this on? If you connected it to your phone, of course! USB-C OTG adapters have been around for years, and apparently every good phone has a microSD slot (Fuck you Samsung. You screwed up the 20-series and keep screwing up your new phones), but this thing only has micro- USB and AUX. Harbor. Sorry, but does anyone have a Micro USB OTG adapter in 2021? Because I've never seen anyone own one, even before USB-C. This product could be much better. Thank god it was only 29.99 in HD. Even then, there is too much to pay for this curse of momentum. By the way, on the Tzumi website, the price is $99.99. Lmao, that's right. You might as well set your wallet on fire by throwing your pants in it.