I recently took this little girl to a wedding where I was a bridesmaid. At the end of the night, she outshone everyone and became the most popular guest at the party. This thing got smashed seriously in the bridal suite like a bong at a frat party. I was able to walk away from the wedding and board a transatlantic flight the next day with no problem, even though I had spent more than 4 hours the night before making a fool of myself on the dance floor in heels. on gravel. because of the wedding in the barn. because the millennial generation is just terrible. She went on vacation with me, by the way, and was promptly confiscated by a friend who didn't understand that vacation is about comfortable shoes, not your stupid cute lace-ups, Christine! Legs live under the patriarchy.
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