Be careful when you wear them for the first time. I was immediately surrounded by a large group of women who all wanted my children. Lynyrd Skynyrd was playing over a loudspeaker and if I remember correctly a bald eagle with the face of Donald Trump flew overhead. The strap on the back is useful for keeping these babies securely attached to my legs throughout the intercourse that I have had. Other uses include: sneaking up on enemies quietly, lounging comfortably in front of the grill all day, drinking from a Miller's lighter, staying undetected while you hunt small woodland creatures, and acting out your high school crush.
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