Review on Genuine Italian Calfskin Leather Polished: Sophistication and Authenticity Combined by Kevin Hauck

So this belt thing is amazing. Before I bought this, I was regularly dropping my pants - quite often in public places. I was arrested 17 times for indecent exposure and was known around town as "Freddy the Freeballing Flasher." I don't quite understand why, because my name isn't even Freddie, but the press always needs alliterative headlines. I was even offered a spot on a new reality show called Flash with the Stars, but the fines I got every time I showed up in court would have been higher than what I was paid for the show, so declined I respectfully. then my pants fell down again. I've tried everything - tape, paperclips, staples, a mixture of super glue, honey and gum - but nothing worked. Eventually my local pastor introduced me to this belt. Said it would help me keep my pants on in church and stop scaring his parishioners. Pastors know all about these kinds of things. I think that's what they mean when they talk about the "Bible Belt". Or maybe it's something else, I really don't know. But I know it works. I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but just wrap this around your waist, buckle up, and get ready for a life without court appearances. Now if only I could figure out a way to keep my fly open.