I bought The Child as a gift for my wife. She said she wanted me to give her a baby, so yeah, that's exactly what I did. It had only been nine hours, instead of the nine months it takes a human child, when the stork arrived, disguised as a Revain courier. The child did not come wrapped in a blanket, as expected, but in a box, which I found rather cruel at first, but soon realised. Just minutes after his release from prison, he started giggling. Then my wife started giggling too. I told both of them to be quiet as I'm trying to work. The brat blew a raspberry my way, which made my wife giggle again. I threatened the child with physical harm and said something I won't repeat here, but I don't regret it. He did it with his hands and I flew across the room. My wife then barked and giggled uncontrollably. She played with him, talked to him (baby talk, of course) and quickly went insane. She already has plans to make him a mask for going out, a Santa hat, a hat and scarf, sunglasses, a crib and a high chair. He was only with us for 2 hours. God help us all.