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Review on 🏞️ Espresso RiverRidge Corner Cabinet by Greg Case

Revainrating 4 out of 5

Sit down and have a cold drink

Well kids I hope you have a beer or a nice drink while I tell you my story. I found this lovely little locker. So I ordered and anxiously awaited (not really worried, just to be clear) for it to arrive. Today is the day he showed up at God's Piss. pieces of it. I consider myself a relatively skilled furniture assembler and thought it would be easy. Oh God. Am I wrong? So I laid out all the parts and carefully read the instructions. Something I understand my husband is not capable of. He wanted to do it before I threw him back in the store. The first few instructions went so smoothly that I had to look around a few times to make sure I lined up the holes correctly. Because God forbid you screw into the wrong hole! I probably should have re-read the instructions when it said NOT to over-tighten the screws connecting Part 1 and Part 2. oops Guilty. I split the tree. never mind Quick decision. Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo. Maybe I should throw away the arm strengthening machine. Who knows. So I thought it was going well. I align parts 9 through 3 and things look a little off. But this is not very high quality furniture, so I decided it was a mistake. This is where the fun begins. I will connect part 10 from 3 to 9. Half of the holes lined up correctly. I keep turning to directions. And again. I got up to turn it over to check the internal holes and immediately stepped on a loose screw. Holy jumping fun beans! I swear I saw the stars. Maybe comets. And made the sailor blush. (Advice. Wear shoes. Don't make my mistake) In agony I looked down and saw that everything was upside down. I go back to the instructions and double check all my numbered pieces and swear again. It should have been true. Break. I think I deserve a whiskey on the rocks here. So I did. If not for a mood boost, then as a leg pain reliever. I come back. I obediently unscrew parts 9 and 10 and turn them over. I carefully screwed the shit back into place and complimented how it fitted. I double-checked the instructions and found I hadn't screwed up. What is good. I saved myself from a mature round of verbal markings. The pieces were mislabeled and now I'm questioning my life choices. But finally it's assembled and looks super adorable. I raise my hands to the heavens and salute every religious figure from here to Pluto (remember Pluto. The once-planet is now degraded like a cheap concubine evicted from King Henry VIII's pleasure palace). A mistake will be your downfall.

Pros
  • Free for educational purposes
Cons
  • Weight