In today's world we are constantly concerned about our appearance. Often the aesthetics we project are more important than the results we achieve. Dating, promotions, privileged treatment—it's all about looks that will eventually be as deep as a midday tide pool in bland society. But the results don't wait. They exist in their own domain. So I wondered if I could achieve my goals without sacrificing my looks? I can and I have done it. After doing parkour every day, jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper, I lost myself in a model's jaws. 24 hours, a pack of Gatorade and 412 peanuts later, I climbed out of our trash can to run through the hard dirt in my birthday suit. As I crossed the victory line long before anyone else, I turned to see the reflection of the enchanted lake. As I went deeper, closer to the center, I found myself underwater. Why breathe when you can live? As I climbed up to the middle island, I casually drew the sword from its cairn. All of Scotland surrendered that day. Though the old and dusty blade still gleamed brightly. On this surface I saw my soul, my aesthetic, my hair. You didn't move at all with this product. Hold my gaze like a stone sword. It's a little hard to clean, so I docked it there.
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