Review on 🚽 Brondell Swash SE600 Bidet Toilet Seat – White (Round Toilets) – Enhanced with Oscillating Stainless-Steel Nozzle, Warm Air Dryer, and Ambient Nightlight by Timothy Schroeder

This is a touchy subject for many Americans but (pun intended) this product is great. As a country boy and in old age, while I clearly remember using the "outhouse" (we didn't have an indoor toilet in our house until I was 10), using a bidet is pretty darn close to sacrilegious. Nothing a true red-blooded American boy would use. Well WAKE UP AMERICA! . Gone are the days of injuring your rotator cuff by stretching your arms behind your back so you can smear poop on your buttocks. literally! I don't care what that perverted Sharmeen bear family says, you can never really get clean by drying yourself. I don't care how much TP you use. Now imagine this scenario. Nature calls and you are beckoned to your throne by the mystical blue glow of soothing goblet-like LED lighting. (Kumbaya plays in the background). You lean gently into the seat, which is already preheated to the ideal temperature. Then you will notice an unpleasant smell when unloading. Wait! No problem. Just touch the deodorize button on the remote control and all those nasty odors will be instantly absorbed by the little activated carbon crystals you keep in your tool arsenal. Then, when the unloading work is done, you're ready (which used to be) for the dirty work. No, I say. Just press REAR on the remote and you'll hear the engine running, followed by a few seconds of blissful waiting. A jet of warm water pours into and onto your work piece, and when you press the MOTION button, the jet of water begins to gently move back and forth to knock out and remove stubborn bits of material. Are you saying the current isn't in the "sweet spot"? No problem. Easily customize the LOCATION buttons for precise aiming. (Gosh! It's like playing Space Invaders!) After two minutes of this watery delight, it's time to wash away all that nasty stuff and get out of that pleasure chair. But wait! What about the water still dripping from my ass? Don't be afraid of the grasshopper! Eat more! Press the DRY button on the remote control and oh my god!. The hatch opens and warm air blows onto your back to vaporize any remaining evidence that anything ever happened here! Happiness at last.* Seriously, the only thing that could have been better is getting one of those seats with endlessly warm water. The tank of this model has enough warm water for about 15 seconds. After that, room temperature at best.* The cover for this seat is rather thin and wafer-thin. I'm afraid to sit on it because I'm sure it will break. *I have no idea how well the female functions work in this seat. For this price, this model has the best features in the range and so far (only a month) everything works. I recommend it.