Review on Vintage Green Vornado VFAN Mini Classic: Personal Air Circulator Fan by Jen Coleman

I like the look of this fan. It's retro. That's cool. That's cool. This goes back to simpler times when fridges were olive drab for some reason and irons were made out of real iron. It is an all-metal construction with no fan blades. It's actually quite heavy and sturdy, two qualities I've dreamed of my whole life as a fan. Despite its size, the fan exhausts quite a lot of air. I'm not sure I really notice a "swirl effect" as the air spins farther than any previous fan, but it works well. There are two speed settings: a light breeze or a Category 4 hurricane. I personally prefer my fans between a tropical storm and a Category 1 hurricane, but to each their own. I have one major issue with this fan that supersedes all other issues: There is no toggle switch on my fan for speed control. It's in all the photos (including photos provided by users) and was one of the main reasons I bought this particular fan. You see, I'm a big fan of (no pun intended) tumblers. If my car had switches instead of buttons, I would have no hesitation in doing it. You immediately improve everything. The world would be more peaceful if cars were controlled by toggle switches. So you can imagine my dismay when I spotted a boring, modern-looking knob on my vintage fan where my toggle switch should have been. This button makes the fan 60% less cool (seriously again, no pun intended. What other word should I use here?). Finally, where is the toggle switch I was promised? Why do you have to play with my feelings, Vornado?