Review on 🌟 Enhance Your Glow with Coco Eve Self Tanner Mousse by Regina Poe

I'd like to start by saying that I've tried every self tanner ever made. I can exfoliate, moisturize and all that. But I'll never learn. God made me pale and I must be pale. There is no such thing as a "gradual tanning lotion" that works on me gradually. I always look like I'm riding flaming hot Cheetos. Damn my mom for the words I heard her say when I was little ("FAT LOOK BETTER WHEN TAN. I LOVE MY MOM, DON'T COME FOR HER)"). I ordered this because the reviews were mostly positive, especially the comments about how it smelled better than most self tanners. That's partly true. Most self-tanners smell like soy sauce. It smelled like you took a piece of coconut and dipped it in soy sauce. The moment I pressed that disgusting looking lather onto my skin, it sucked in like my skin hadn't been moisturized in years. It absorbed so quickly I barely had time to rub it in. It was streaky and sticky, didn't ooze, and I wasn't sure whether to add water or take a shower. Unfortunately I kept walking. What followed was a wild ride: squirt and rub, squirt and rub, squirt and rub. In the fight, the tanner hit the gauntlet, and now I have a black hand. My body looks like a UPS uniform with some white stripes and a black glove. Please save your money. You're beautiful. Pale people unite!