Review on 💜 Crystal Deodorant Lavender & White Tea: Non-Toxic, Aluminum-Free [2-Pack] by Stephanie Young

This shit only smells like lavender if you've never experienced what lavender actually smells like and if this is your first encounter with lavender, well woe to you. This disgusting excuse for human deodorant is reminiscent of a floral-scented naphthalene-based toilet cleaner that failed within weeks of its launch. The scent is "floral", heavy, sweet and so far from natural that I'm really surprised that the Crystal brand went for it. I mean, the testers had to test it, the team had to approve it. They might even have had consumer focus groups before it hit the shelves. So many people have allowed this monster to rise from the lab and kiss the armpits of the unsuspecting. And yet, here we are - I bought this crap thanks to years of good experience with this brand, but after one attempt to use it, my wife and I threw each one away. For Thanksgiving we make sanitary bags for the homeless. Even though they were brand new and used once we thought giving them to the homeless would be too offensive. These things smell so disgusting. Finally, I ask you WHY? Why would a natural sanitation company make something that smells like a chemical disaster? Why did they name this creation "Lavender"? What is the endgame here? In many films we are told to "follow the money" to find the answer to a question that has no answer. Maybe that's what we need to do here, because the only logical explanation is that this "natural deodorant" is actually a key element in a nefarious conspiracy. So watch your money. Look what Crystal is up to. I suspect it has something to do with the lizardmen, because a human cannot innocently create this olfactory nightmare to use on other humans. I'm too lazy to solve a puzzle this big, but if you're ready to tackle it, FOLLOW THE MONEY!