You never know when Code Brown will strike. Will it be in the supermarket? bench queue? or stuck in traffic. There was only one way to know if or when the brown code would work, leading to my not wanting to leave the house at all. I had a very real fear that I had no way of learning or preparing for a disastrous brown code. The last time I ventured out in front of the Porzellanpalast at home, I was sitting on a shotgun and suddenly felt a slight bubbling in my stomach. I made several precautionary secret visits while I was at home. So I was sure it was just gasoline. So, much to my dismay, I let the little one squeak - I realized I was getting more than I expected. I was horrified! What to do? We were on a bridge with nowhere in sight to stop. So I did what anyone would do - dropped my pants, ripped off my dirty and dirty panties and threw them out the window. I dried off with KFC fast food towels and we moved on. After that incident, and it happened right after the cupcake incident, we vowed never to talk about it again, only in the sign language that my closest friends and I know, and cut our throats so we wouldn't have that horrible day would reveal. to an outsider. Anyway, I digress. So I was demoted to live my life as an outcast. Wrapped in my own shit. As long as my beacon is in the brown mist. EMERGENCY PANTS. Ever since I got them, I take a spare pair with me wherever I go. I keep them in my desk at work, in my purse, in my glove box for personal hygiene, and make sure to pack them when I travel. It made living with unexpected brown codes more bearable. I'll never walk around with a poo stain again - so sir. I have emergency pants!
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