Review on 🧹 Efficient Cordless Cleaning: BLACK DECKER BDH2000L 20V Vacuum by Jonah Koehnke

I chose this vacuum based on Wirecutter's recommendation. Their recommendations are generally well informed and accurate, but oh my how did they fall for this one. Just take a look. where do I even start? I know Noise. WHAT IS THAT? I DO NOT HEAR YOU. I SAID THIS VACUUM CLEANER IS EXTREMELY LOUD. I know what you're thinking - keep calm Buttercup. This is a vacuum. That's what vacuum cleaners do. They are loud. trust me i hear you (Jk I don't know. Now I'm literally deaf). Keep in mind that I am not the type of person who is sensitive to noise. Jesus Christ, I lived in New York for 13 years. Sirens are like a lullaby. However, this item must be supplied with hearing protection. Every time I use it my husband goes into a full blown panic attack and curls up in a corner in a fetal position until I'm done. My 19 year old cat, who is so old he's practically in space, even comes to life and runs away when he hears it. I have no idea if it's a manufacturing defect or what, but this thing sounds like a goddamn chainsaw being pumped through a Marshall haystack. As if that wasn't enough, this vacuum cleaner is weak. I suck and the entire top half just bounces off like a horror movie clown doll's head, scattering dust and debris everywhere. Neither of these things would be a deal breaker if the vacuum had adequate suction power. But that's not the case. I'm not talking about cleaning a field full of gravel or miniature anvils. This baby cannot cope with basic tasks - toast crumbs, cat litter, fluffy cotton wool. What the heck is a vacuum? YOU HAVE A JOB. Anyway I see the only justification for buying it is tormenting the upstairs neighbor or if you're the kind of person who loves dirty floors and hates money. Where's the dust collector I grew up with, Black & Decker? I loved this old brown and beige dinosaur. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm standing in front of the window crying, holding a cup of tea and looking into the distance.