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Papua New Guinea, Port Moresby
1 Level
702 Review
31 Karma

Review on Rugged ESEE Expat Cleaver Knife With Black G10 Handle - Top Choice For Outdoor Adventurers by Terry Wright

Revainrating 5 out of 5

Greatest Sammich Splitter on the Planet

I was born a poor.nevermind wrong thought. This thing is a beast! The moment it arrived, I was smitten. Unboxing was a little iffy, as it came packaged like my wife's last three packages, wasn't sure it was mine? Once I overcame the initial fear of seeing a "personal massager", everything was better. To begin, it came with several bandaids, one or two large enough to cover a goodly portion of a human hand, and a neat little "survival card"(which btw, says NOTHING about how to survive your wife finding out you spent this much money on a sandwich splitter? I'm sure it was an honest oversight!). The bandaids are cool, this Expat guy should start a bandaid company?! It also comes with an entire cup of badassery, which can be divided equally betwixt several different folks. The last thing in the box was a curious coin, purportedly some 4th world currency? I traded mine for a handful of magic beans, which my wife immediately tossed out the window. The sandwich chopper itself seems very well made, if not a bit bulky for splitting a sammich. The bag it is packaged in can double as a condom for a real man, or you can ferry water from the creek in it(if you don't have a wife to ferry water). I've yet to split a sammich with it, since that's my wife's job, but it seems plenty sharp enough for the task. I can however vouch for the fact that it is an EXCELLENT thrower, perfectly balanced, and just heavy enough, or so my wife says, I don't know, I was running? This Expat guy really knows his sandwich utensils, as well as the first aid supplies shipped with it. The jury is still out on the fiat currency included, but I'm hoping my magic beans make up for it! As an aside, careful when you order, my mail lady call the Postal Inspectors on me because this thing was so sharp, it cut its way out of the "personal massager" type packaging and nicked her sammich assemblers?

Pros
  • Leather Sheath Included
Cons
  • Not suitable for use in a professional kitchen setting