Review on Apace Vision Safety Light Bonus by Jorge Kehayas

When I took them out of the box I was just blown away. The green was greener than the greenest green I had ever seen. By the way, I'm historically a slow runner. 11:00 miles is common, so I usually run in the early hours. Darkness curbs my laziness like nothing else. The only downside to my choice of working hours, however, is that no car can see me, and my freezing pace makes me an easy target for a random drunk driving home to his hapless wife (but that's another story). When I first ran with these lights, I turned them on while looking directly at them. BIG MISTAKE. Remember when that eclipse happened last year and everyone between the 28th and 32nd latitudes was going nuts for cocoa beans and your local weatherman had to keep reminding viewers not to look directly at the sun to avoid burning your cornea ? Well, that's exactly what I felt. As I blinked and saw the fireworks dancing in front of my eyes, I worried that I would never see them again. Fortunately, after what seemed like an eternity, but actually after 3-4 seconds, the visual miracle was restored. After such a good start I went for a run in the morning. I set the light to blink slowly and went out. You wouldn't believe a little light would affect your training that much, but honestly I felt like Roger Bannister was coming second as I almost broke the world record in the mile. A few days later, rehydrated, rested and ready to get going again, I decided to take it a step further. I flashed the light slowly again and flew away. This run was even better than the previous one and after overtaking Alberto Salazar by 26 miles I realized something had changed. I thought to myself: maybe these are my socks? Maybe it's my shoes. Both have been with me on several previous runs so I doubted that was the case. Then it dawned on me. The only thing I changed is the introduction of this light. Somehow the speed with which the visible light left the diodes penetrated my body and affected the rhythm with which my legs moved. I've only read about it twice in history, at the latest when Hannibal parted the Red Sea on the back of the Huns. As I prepared to contact the NSA, KGB, NRA, USPS, and UNICEF, I knew they would be skeptical of my claims. I had to document this new reality if I wanted to appear on the morning talk shows. The last thing I want is Phil Donahue running down the aisle calling me a liar. So I decided to test the light for the last time and try to break Self Transcendence's 3100 mile race record by completing it non-stop. Day came and I slowly flashed my light, believing that the flashing coincided with the opening and closing of the pores on my skin, allowing gamma rays to penetrate my muscles at just the right interval. After running 100 meters for 3100 miles, I was certain that the record would be mine. 150 meters into it I thought I would never stop running. And there it happened. At around 162.5 meters. As long as I live I will never forget where I was in that moment. If I remember watching Neil Armstrong on this CBS studio pretending to jump to the moon as I completed my K2 ascent in a rear handstand, that moment will tie together other important moments in the pantheon of history. The light stopped blinking. I slowed, believing my speed was now exceeding that of the visible light spectrum emitted by the light. Unfortunately, when I slowed down, nothing changed. The light was green now and no matter what I tried I couldn't change it. I tried to press the "button" with no success. Then I tried clicking the "button" which gave the same result. Finally, I thought, what would MacGyver do under such circumstances? So I came up with a plan. Now I pressed the "button" one last time to fix the light. It did not work. I failed. My dreams of Oprah asking me to say those magic words, "You get the light and you get the light and everyone gets the light" will never come true. Even after changing the battery and assembling the device, I can't figure it out. to turn off or cycle through the modes. This product is being returned and I can only hope that the replacement will have the same impact on my mileage.