The tinkling sound of lifting the cutter made me smile, not to mention the water that washed my cheeks ran down because of the sheer beauty of 16 inches of stainless steel in my hands. Instantly, every pizza within a 10-mile radius knew their demise was imminent...including the hapless pepperoni and sausage pizza that lay ahead of me. Immediately, my victim began weeping crocodile tears of tomato sauce, aware of impending doom. But no begging could keep me from getting what was mine. Without hesitation (or guilt), I quickly sliced my enemy into 8 evenly sliced pieces, completely intact, with medical precision. With an imperceptible effort, I drew the blade and surveyed the smudges of sauce on its pristine surface, my reflection reflected in the horror that followed. Slowly and very gently, I wiped the blade of any residue, reveling in the fact that I could not only cut my enemy so quickly, but also clean it easily and in a flash. The time saved from defeating the nefarious Pizza Demon has allowed me to spend a lot more time enjoying the spoils of my victory. Well done KitchenStar... well done.
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