After being told that although I'm a retired soldier and in my 50's, I haven't achieved Better Men yet. So, I shaved this morning with Gillette Atra Plus blades and my toxic manhood exploded, ripping apart a previously unnoticed uterine wall. It turns out I can no longer open doors for my wife, unscrew can lids, or take out the trash. My wife hates you and me. Thank you for making me what men can be.
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