Okay, okay, first let me get this straight: I have a great meat tenderizer at home. Somewhere. Maybe in a box, maybe in the kitchen, just hidden somewhere in an unknown place. Anyway I couldn't find this one and this one was cheap and shipped quickly so. you know how to do it ;) Pros for this meat tenderizer: You can smack the meat and it makes a happy "smack on the meat". They jingle your meat enough and your meat tastes soft like meat peaches, not chewy like meat boots. After that, it's easy to remove. I mean, I'm a little worried about germs and bacteria and all, but the heads on these things are designed so I don't live in constant fear that after I wash them off they'll hide microscopic bits of flesh. But just in case, let's use our good friend Mr. Dishwasher to heat it up and make sure, okay? Snap! Oh my Google boogie! I took my old crusher. I do not know. Ikea or Sur La Table or something like that. Forged piece of galvanized steel, stainless steel or something else. Don't worry about it falling apart, but for some reason, to give it an "old fashioned" look, the handle is a solid, straight, FLAT piece of metal. Pooh! After fucking a lot of meat this thing really cramped my hand. Not so with this new meat tenderizer! The bottom of the grip tapers nicely, and there's even a bit of grippy rubber to keep it from slipping out of my hand. It feels like I can just sit at home and munch on meat all day. Um, you know what I mean. Anyway, overall I have to judge it on one more factor: Can I use it for something else? I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Tools that only do one thing and take up space the rest of the time. How am I ever going to get rid of all my belongings and live a luxurious life in a $200,000 van if I can't reduce my bulk to a large backpack filled with multi-purpose kitchen accessories? How does this meat tenderizer work? Everything is OK! It can be used as a relentless metal hammer, like a really scary hammer. I bet if you're quick and don't bother with your expensive Ming vase collection, it can be a solid fly swatter too (and really, if you have a Ming vase collection in your luxury van, I can't even ). I'm not sure I would approve of it as a self-defense weapon, but if you KEEP it as a weapon and look menacing enough, I bet you can delay the start of a conflict by up to thirty seconds. Blah, too many words, I know. But I just want to be clear: this is a reliable meat tenderizer and as long as you don't lose it somewhere in your house (gulp) it should serve you well as such for years to come!
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